I've been parenting solo for the past week while Roland is in Amsterdam attending Drupal Con and Bar Camp. And I've got a few more days to go before he returns on Monday evening.

I've been solo numerous times now but this time things seem a lot easier eventhough it's a longer stretch than previous times. I feel less lonely and less 'stuck'. Maybe it's because S has more of a routine and he's easier to entertain. Maybe it's because I'm getting more rest. Maybe it's because I have my new computer and feel more 'connected' through Skype, instant messaging and iSight. Maybe it's because I have more support and back-up from friends with young kids.

Maybe I've finally let go of feeling envious of not being able to do what I perceive as exciting. Things I loved to do before S came along like travel, attend conferences, meet new people, dine out, explore... Roland claims that it's not all fun and games--it's a lot of work. Sure, sure I say. But when I see how hard he works during the day and usually late into the night, I do understand him. He loves what he does but it's exhausting. And when he's away, he yearns to be home with us.

As time goes on and I see S grow and change and learn at lightning speed, I realize that my hard work with him at home is as exciting as all the things I've been envious about. How lucky I am to be able to be part of S's life and to spend so much time just being with him. It's time that can so easily slip away. It's hard work. It's exhausting but I love it.

Roland says that sometimes he'd rather trade what he does for home life with S. Sorry Roland, I'm staying home.

I've finally psyched myself up to let S try playing with playdough. I had to deal with visions of him eating it, throwing it on the floor, rubbing it in his hair. And visions of me scraping it off the floor and walls and picking it out of our carpet.

So a few nights ago I cooked some up. I even tried a different method so that it wouldn't have a grainy, rough texture. It was actually fun to cook...reminded me of making choux pastry! I coloured it 3 different colours and was quite pleased with the results.

It was a rainy morning and Simon has a cold so we didn't want to go to toddler gym. Today would be an ideal day to give it a try. I explained to S that we were going to try a new toy, it wasn't to eat and it would be so much fun. He eagerly sat at his table and was excited to see me pull out the playdough tub.

When I plopped some down on his table and pressed it, he looked intrigued. He gave it a pat, then a poke. He then exclaimed, "Done!" I proceded to demonstrate what he could do with it--make a smiley face, make a pancake, knead it.... "Done!" and off he went.

I'm a bit disappointed. S is usually very tactile so I thought he'd like it. There goes that rainy day activity! I'll have to give it another try later....

The other day when S and I were at the library, I came across a book called "Dim Sum for Everyone!" I had to borrow it...Roland, being a huge dim sum fan, would be thrilled that a children's book about dim sum exists.

When we got home, I read the book to S. While I read and we looked at the pictures, he kept shouting, "Goong Goong!" (what he calls my dad), "Ngun Ngun" (what he calls food) and "Mmmmm". So obviously he understood the book! We usually go for dim sum with my folks, Goong Goong and Poh Poh. Dim sum is food. And it tastes good.

Amazing.

S truly is his father's child!

Wow, it seems like the next wave of the baby boom is about to hit. A couple of close friends are pregnant and several of the moms in our original parent-infant group are pregnant with baby #2...that makes about half of us pregnant again.

So I'm feeling a little societal pressure. Not from anyone in particular--not my folks or Roland's, not Roland--just in general. Don't I want another baby? Now that you have one child, you really should have another. Isn't it time to add another member to the family? It would be so nice for S to have a brother or sister....

And with my 'advanced maternal age', you'd think that I'd be the first on the block to be pregnant again!

But I don't know. I don't know if I could go through those early baby days again...the sleep deprivation nearly killed me (I'm not exaggerating). And I never really had that "I must have a baby" urge in the first place. I've always loved children but from the work I did, I knew about the realities of parenting as well.

When I think about our lifestyle and all the things we want to be able to do in the future, it would be more feasible to have one child. Not that having children should be a decision made around convenience.

It's been so challenging to finally get to a point where our family of three is comfortable and settled. It's just hard to fathom how my little world would be turned upside down again if we had another baby. Not sure if I'm ready for that.

I am a bit late on this one, but better late than never (and I was inspired by Travis's This Year I am Thankful For post). This year I am thankful for:

• Barb and my son - Having a family has been amazing (obviously not for everybody and everybody has their own path and yes parenthood is a cult) and and Barb is my soul mate (cliché but true).
• The Bryght guys (and everybody who believes in us and supports us; you know who you are)
• My family for loving me in spite of my imperfections and the usual family issues.
• Dries for Drupal - without Drupal there would be no Bryght
• The creators of the technology behind the crazy blogs, wikis, flickr and other social software that I live in daily.
• The people who create compelling compelling content constantly on their blogs, websites, wikis, flickr. You rock and you are leading the revolution.

S had his 18 month check up yesterday. He meets all the developmental milestones and he's your pretty typical, average 18 month old toddler.

His weight was average too...right on the 50th percentile. We are thrilled! Since birth, S's weight has never exceeded the 30th percentile. What made it worse is that he's always been tall for his age. So he's been a snake baby. Now he's not growing as much in height and he's finally putting on some heft.

Must be all that meat he's eating...

We love Milk Factory stuff! We bought a Milk Factory SpillProof blanket for ourselves and as gifts for Roland's family and everyone loves them. Soft and warm on one side and tough and waterproof on the other. No wet bum or other parts after sitting on damp grass. Totally functional. And totally washable.

We also have some Milk Factory QuickWick shirts for S. Very handy for quickly wicking and drying his endless stream of drool. Cool thing is that the shirts come in hip colours like black or orange and with contrast stitching. S's black shirt is particularly handy when he's eating tomato based sauces or other things that would usually stain!

The moms behind Milk Factory are inspirational. Penny and Tomi met at a parent-infant group and left their jobs to start this company. They're great mentors for me while I start up the biz. Whenever I talk to them I'm energized and motivated to get things going!